Annie- 3 Months Old

Our sweet Annie girl is 3 months old today (0 months adjusted). I did monthly photos with Owen and loved seeing him grow those first 12 months. They develop so quickly! I will be doing monthly photos with Annie too. However, her actual monthly age and adjusted age will both be included. She is actually 3 months old. Her adjusted age (how old she is developmentally) is 0 months. That's right… Brand New!

6 pounds 10 ounces 19 inches long

Happy 3 Months in the world Annie!

Happy Due Date Annie!

February 25- The day that was deemed my due date back in early June. The day that I anticipated and planned for. The day that meant my little girl was ready to arrive. The day that has a whole new meaning to me now. Annie will be 3 months tomorrow- the day after her due date. Boy did God have some different timing than I expected. Our 78 day NICU stay is already becoming a distant memory for me now. I remember thinking as I was in the midst of that turmoil that we would never get to come home. Now here we are, almost 2 weeks in. I am soaking up every moment of having her home. The late night and early morning feedings are tiring but I love watching her eat. The sweet little noises and grunts that she makes melt my heart. She has completed our family more than she will ever know. Her early debut will absolutely be an experience that no one will ever forget, but that doesn't even begin to define how important she is to us. She has a purpose in life that I can't predict. God has big plans for our girl.

Annie is really a perfect baby. She rarely cries. She eats well and is on a great schedule. She is waking around 2-3 times a night to eat and she wakes happy in the mornings. Owen is my late sleeper so Annie and I have a couple of hours to ourselves before he wakes to entertain us. She is usually alert at this time so we talk over the morning cup of coffee. Owen is still getting used to the fact that she is always around. He doesn't mind her being here, but he isn't overly excited either. He enjoys watching her get a bath or having her diaper changed. He thinks it is funny when she has a "stinky" (typical 3 year old boy). We are forming a routine already. The routine that I longed for not even 2 weeks ago. My heart is so full. I want to say thank you to those that prayed and supported us through this whole experience. We finally made it to the other side. Oh happy day! Here are some pictures I have taken since we've been home. Enjoy!

He loves her…he says, "She is so cute!" in his little voice.

Watching over Annie

Checking to see why she was fussing

A little out of order- but here he is waiting to meet his sister for the first time. 

And here she is waiting to meet her brother- all dolled up. 

Our first "Family of 4" picture. 

Her first night at home. 

Annie wasn't so sure about her first doctors appointment. 

"What's that you say?"

Early morning snuggles. 

Watching her brother run around like a wild man.

Her daddy is pretty smitten. 

Hanging with my babes.

Snow fun!

Nap time…One of my favorite moments of the day!

I love her expressions.

She is the one thats tired??

Oh this child...

NICU Day 78-Discharge Day!

Yes- this is a few days past the "REAL" NICU Day 78. Our sweet Annie has been out of the NICU for a whole week! Hallelujah! I just wanted to document one of the best days of my life…the day we welcomed her home.

As you have read in my previous posts, I was really at the breaking point. We had been given multiple discharge dates only to see them come and go. My heart was breaking like something I have never felt before. I knew the doctors were just trying to do what was best for her, but that didn't make it any easier. I fought tooth and nail with some nurses and doctors that last week. I cried, I pleaded, I am sure I made a complete fool of myself. I remember the conversation I had with the doctor and nurse on Monday (3 days before she came home). I laid out my case on why I thought she was ready to come home. They listened and said they would discuss it. I figured it would be another "lets wait and see" scenario. The kind of situation that tears you apart. However, this time it worked! They all agreed that Annie was truly ready to come home. Thursday would be the day. I felt as though my heart would explode (in a good way this time!). Thursday morning came. I had that feeling that a child gets on Christmas morning- sheer excitement! The moment that I had been waiting on for 78 long days was here. This would be my last trip to the hospital, and the first day that I wouldn't have to say goodbye to my girl when I left. This time she was coming with me.  Discharge was quick. We loaded her up in her car seat and said goodbye to the doctors and nurses. I had a rush of emotion as we opened the doors to the NICU. The doors to the outside world. I began to cry and could not stop. They were tears of excitement, tears of relief, tears of happiness. Off we went with our little miracle baby, she was all ours.

If I can say one thing to current and future NICU moms it would be to cry as much as you want. Find a support system that you can cry and complain to. And just say it aloud sometimes… IT SUCKS! Whether it is a 7 day NICU stay or a 107 day stint… it is absolutely excruciating and it is ok to admit it. However, keep your eye on the "prize". That sweet baby that you love more than life will come home, even though it feels like they may never be released, they will be…and it will be worth every tear.

All dressed up and ready to go. 

This is the first time I got to dress her without the wires attached!

We were SO excited!

Buckled in her car seat...

Saying goodbye to some of our favorite nurses. 

Putting her in her car seat!

Her first car ride!

NICU Day 73-This journey

Annie had a spell last night after a feeding and therefore the "5 day/ no spell" countdown starts over. I truly wish that there was no countdown. Honestly, this is the most pain I've ever felt. I never knew my heart could hurt this bad. Every morning when I walk into the hospital I get this anxious feeling..."Did she have a spell?!" I actually don't even have to ask anymore. I can see it on the nurse's face the minute she sees me. The "I'm so sorry" look. I typically hold it together until I'm alone, but oh my how the tears flow behind closed doors. The doctors can't give me an answer and there is no "cure" for her spells-just time and prayer. I do know one thing, before I was a NICU parent I never really gave much thought to the pain that they have to endure. The endless days of being a mommy but not really feeling like you are in control. Having to say goodbye to a piece of your heart over and over, day after day. Going months on end of holding your precious baby-but not in their freshly painted pink nursery surrounded by your family. Instead, in a hospital room surrounded by medical equipment and strangers. You want to get mad, you want to place blame (usually on yourself), you want to run away even- but your unconditional love for that tiny baby keeps you grounded. Sure I am fighting this fight... But I'm not the only one. Our little Annie is fighting right along with me. She is working as hard as her little body will allow. I look in her eyes and it's as if she's saying, "Please be patient Mommy. I promise I am worth it." She is. Oh how she is worth every second of this journey.

NICU Day 72

We are still on the NICU. Annie had a spell on Tuesday which set us back a few days. Our new discharge date is Sunday. I am trying to stay calm and not get my hopes up. Annie will let us know when she is ready. As bad as I want her home, I think about what it will be like to not have nurses and doctors to rely on...nerve wracking!! So for now we will continue to take it a day at a time. We will be home very soon.







Annie passed her car seat test and is ready to ride when the time is right!!

NICU Day 68

Annie's feeding tube is out! She is taking all of her feeds and rocking this bottle thing. We are officially on a 5 day "no spell" countdown. If she has no spells we are set to go home on Thursday. I am trying to keep myself calm and not stress-but oh how I hope those spells are over with! Brandon and I are attending CPR and discharge class on Wednesday and her car seat test is this week as well. I have been waiting for these milestones for 10 weeks. My heart is about to explode!




The nurses did a little photo shoot with our girl last night. I am really going to miss them. They have taken such good care of her.


Car seat and discharge packet!!


Annie's door in the NICU. So sweet!


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