As you have read in my previous posts, I was really at the breaking point. We had been given multiple discharge dates only to see them come and go. My heart was breaking like something I have never felt before. I knew the doctors were just trying to do what was best for her, but that didn't make it any easier. I fought tooth and nail with some nurses and doctors that last week. I cried, I pleaded, I am sure I made a complete fool of myself. I remember the conversation I had with the doctor and nurse on Monday (3 days before she came home). I laid out my case on why I thought she was ready to come home. They listened and said they would discuss it. I figured it would be another "lets wait and see" scenario. The kind of situation that tears you apart. However, this time it worked! They all agreed that Annie was truly ready to come home. Thursday would be the day. I felt as though my heart would explode (in a good way this time!). Thursday morning came. I had that feeling that a child gets on Christmas morning- sheer excitement! The moment that I had been waiting on for 78 long days was here. This would be my last trip to the hospital, and the first day that I wouldn't have to say goodbye to my girl when I left. This time she was coming with me. Discharge was quick. We loaded her up in her car seat and said goodbye to the doctors and nurses. I had a rush of emotion as we opened the doors to the NICU. The doors to the outside world. I began to cry and could not stop. They were tears of excitement, tears of relief, tears of happiness. Off we went with our little miracle baby, she was all ours.
If I can say one thing to current and future NICU moms it would be to cry as much as you want. Find a support system that you can cry and complain to. And just say it aloud sometimes… IT SUCKS! Whether it is a 7 day NICU stay or a 107 day stint… it is absolutely excruciating and it is ok to admit it. However, keep your eye on the "prize". That sweet baby that you love more than life will come home, even though it feels like they may never be released, they will be…and it will be worth every tear.
All dressed up and ready to go.
This is the first time I got to dress her without the wires attached!
We were SO excited!
Buckled in her car seat...
Saying goodbye to some of our favorite nurses.
Putting her in her car seat!
Her first car ride!
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